Look around you -- in your classroom, the cafeteria, the schoolyard-no two people are the same. Unfortunately, the differences that make us unique can also cause conflicts between us.
There are many ways we differ from others including gender, age, race, culture, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, body shape and size, interests, level of ability and social class. We all want to fit in and be accepted. It can be easier and more comfortable to fit in with people who are similar to us. Unfortunately people sometimes mistreat others who are different by discriminating against them or stereotyping them.
People discriminate against others because they are scared of their differences. For example, some people have an irrational fear of gays and lesbians (this is called homophobia). This fear may prevent them from associating with people who are gay or lesbian.
Stereotyping is forming a general idea about a group of people based on limited information. For example, someone may have had one bad experience with a person of a particular race. They may then use that one experience to justify being mean to anyone who belongs to that race. It is not acceptable to stereotype or discriminate against people who are different from us.
It is not acceptable to stereotype or discriminate against people who are different from us. If you are having conflicts at school because of this you may feel scared, hurt, angry and isolated. Try talking to your guidance counsellor, teacher or principal. If that doesn't help, ask your parents to contact the school board for support.
When trying to communicate with someone, it is important to stand up for yourself without hurting the other person. One way to do this is by using "I" statements. For example, instead of saying "you made me angry when..." try saying "I felt angry when...". This can make communication easier because it eliminates blaming, which tends to make the other person defensive. Remember to attack the problem, not the person.
To effectively resolve a conflict you not only have to say what your problems are, you also have to listen to the other person's point of view. Try active listening, which involves really hearing the other person by checking to see if you have understood them correctly.
There are three different types of problem-solving approaches that you can use when trying to resolve a conflict:
- Negotiation involves meeting face to face to discuss both peoples' needs in order to resolve the dispute.
- Mediation involves using a third party to act as a go-between in order to resolve the dispute.
- Consensus decision-making is usually used when a conflict involves a group of people-it involves working together to come up with a plan that makes everyone comfortable.
